ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
