Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
