Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
