We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
