found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
