It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm at about main and main street
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
