I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
