There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
