Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
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