Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
