I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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