Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
