But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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