I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
