So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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