Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Do vagina's smell?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
