Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
