Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize