I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
