i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
