I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
