I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
