Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
