shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Randomize