Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
