it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
