my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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