she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
