i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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