i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
