I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
