You can't special order awesome
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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