Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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