I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Randomize
