Define "chronic" masturbator.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
