conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
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