i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
