I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Is it penis luge time yet?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
