We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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