dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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