Jerry, you need to find god
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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