whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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