There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
