please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
