Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize