I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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