I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
