But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
