I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize