In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
