tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
did you just send me my own nude
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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