I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
