I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
