i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
