He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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