woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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