Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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