Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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