Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
