Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
