its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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