I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
